Love

Love, a word that plagues us daily. A word that we think we understand its full meaning, but in reality we only understand fully at the end of our lives.

Most of us want a relationship because our ultimate goal in life is to find a soul mate, get married, have kids, and the rest is history. What troubles me is the fact that we don't care who that's with. We get into a relationship without ever getting to know this person fully and even after seeing red flags we stay because we hope, then when it fails we get discouraged. Something that I have learned is that a person will always be who they are. They might have flaws to fix but at the end of the day they are who they are. Nothing will ever change that, but we try to change things about people so they fit to be with us.

In relationships we do have to make compromises, but we should never settle for anything. We should get rid of this idea that we must meet someone and instantly fall in love so we can actually get to know people properly. People should never change when they get into a relationship. A relationship is like a triangle, there is you, there is me, and there is us. Marriage and kids should be something that is gradual, not something that is forced because that is the ultimate betrayal, from your own self.

People ask me all the time if I want to get married and have children. My answer always is that if I find someone that I enjoy every day with, and get to know them as friends first and if things go there then I would consider it. Marriage and children with a partner never works out when it's rushed. Statistics prove this. People associate love with relationship too seriously. When elders say that the golden rule to staying married till death is marrying your best friend, you know that it was probably not love at first sight. Being with someone different than yourself is a good thing when you hold the same values. Values is where the life changing decisions happen in unison.

Another thing that makes my stomach turn is how people go back to an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend when things weren't great to start off with. You may love that person, yes, but your judgement is impaired by your heart's pain. An ex is an ex for a reason. People will say: "they changed", but the truth is they are still that same person, they might have fixed or worked on a flaw, but their heart never changed. People cut ties with their ex's when in reality they were probably better friends to begin with. Never cut anyone out of your life unless deemed absolutely necessary. Everyone enters our lives to teach us something. Your life would have been completely different without that person.

This is all to say that when you meet someone, treat them as a friend. That way you will get to know them well with no pressure. If things go further and feelings deepen then great, if not then you just made a friend that you can count on. Enjoy everyone you meet to the fullest and that's how you know true love. Love doesn't always mean a serious relationship, it just means a relationship, a great frienship, companionship between strangers, co-workers, or even family members.

Sometimes when we want something so bad we fail to see that it's not right for us and ignore the things that are. It all happens when it happens, otherwise we should just enjoy life and the people that make us happy. Life is sometimes too short not to!