Goddess of the Unknown

Since returning from my travels I have felt this happiness that quickly turned into an evocative feeling. Nostalgia returned. I am in limbo about all the decisions I have to make for my future. I have another opportunity to do what I worked so hard to get or I can finally do something that leads to my stability.

Sometimes life guides us places that we aren't sure we are meant to go, but as time goes on we realize that we were definitely meant to be there at that present moment. Other times life doesn't give us the opportunities we believe we should have, then when you least expect it, it's when it shows up on your doorstep. The Goddess of the Unknown is said to mean that a new chapter is arising in someone's life. That new beginings are ahead and to have the power to move forward with no fear. It is also said that you may have doubts about being on the right path, but to not worry because you are always on the right path. It's about TRUST, trusting yourself and others around you to help you make some of life's biggest decisions.

I have come to realize that the life I lead before I became a gypsy wasn't the problem, it was the people I was surrounded with and the pain I felt from the hurt those people caused me. Since returning and evaluating certain aspects of life I became aware that people change your life and experiences with those people. Certain places can aswell but you are still with someone, yourself...your thoughts and your dreams. You are never alone you see and when you are made aware that no matter where you are in life or what you do, you will always need someone to share it with, share your joy or share your sadness. Now that I have to make one of the biggest decisions in my life I have to keep in mind the people that have loved me and supported me throughout these past two years. At the end of the day I make decisions that best suit my needs, but if they really love me then they will have my best interest at heart.

Life isn't always easy, or short, or long. Sometimes it feels longer because you know that you made the wrong decision and sometimes it feels shorter because you are enjoying it at the fullest. Like I have said plenty of times, I want to do so much with my life and it's now time to make some of those decisions. I love traveling and scuba diving so much that I can't imagine my life without it, but, I also don't know any different because I have never had too much of a stable life in the sense of a house, a nine to five job, a family of my own. I have lived the stable college life and it felt good until one day it wasn't enough. Maybe people are right when saying I don't belong here. I feel more at home in foreign countries with new friends everyday.

Only my own actions and decisions will bring me and lead me to where I belong. It's all a game of timing. I am young and I have no real responsibilities so I know that it's time to do it now before I do. I guess if the things and the people that belong in my life will be there when I return. Till then I will live with this confusion in my heart and take it in with all it's grace because as I know it, presently I am where I'm meant to be!